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The Lost Hope Notes: #49

What season are you in right now? Birthday? Christmas? Family? Holiday? Stress at work?

I remember learning that not everyone loves Mother’s Day and Christmas. It never would have occurred to me growing up.

Take Christmas. For me, it’s all good memories. For my husband, not so much. There’s childhood memories of fighting, danger, financial stress and threats that his presents will be returned if he can’t “be a good boy.” That’s a lot to carry around for a season of joy, giving, and extra time with family.

We’ve been talking about how easy it is to let the past overshadow and even ruin the present.

It’s hard to hope and be filled with joy and enjoy what is right in front of you if your heart and mind is filled with pain filled memories from the past.

I remember years ago hearing someone say, “You need to do the work.” THE WORK. I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. And maybe I still don’t. But since then I’ve run into what people who have helped me understand.

The work is the stuff you have to do to stop the burdens, pain, abuse, and bad beliefs from the past dictate and color your present and future.

Time doesn’t heal. Well, maybe cuts and bruises. But I’d be willing to bet that all of us are carrying SOME story around in our hearts that still causes us pain, even the person that caused it is either no longer in our lives, or has even passed away.

Our hearts and minds need time, tools, and opportunity to process hard and confusing events. Otherwise we find ourselves sabotaging the joy out of our days.

Some of us find our hope and joy suddenly sucked out of our situations and we have no idea why.

Hope takes work. Sometimes restoring hope takes help.

I hope that this season, if things are coming up and you find yourself unable to enjoy your days, if you find yourself resisting special events and resentful of giving gifts or just filled with unnamed stress or dread, OR . . . whatever obstacle you find inside of yourself. I hope that maybe you will find some space and time to walk. Without any music or talking in your ears. Walk until you can hear the thoughts that are pulsing through your body - thoughts you might be surprised to find. Thoughts your grown up brain KNOWS aren’t true, BUT your heart still holds on to and believes.

Maybe you have some safe people you can tell those thoughts to. A journal even. Just something to get those things on the outside so that you can begin the journey towards believing something new and life giving about yourself, about life.

It’s not bad when stuff comes up. I remember when I was a kid, and got sick and ended up puking. My mom would say, “That’s just your body getting rid of something that it didn’t agree with.” It made me feel like, “Yeah. It’s not a sign that something is WRONG. This is actually a positive sign that my body is functioning properly and protecting itself.”

Life happens and gives us opportunities to purge inner garbage that isn’t helping us. It feels SO crappy. And not sure if you share the same memories, but so many times, after I threw up, often within minutes my headache would be gone and I’d feel significantly better.

Walk. Sit. Rock on your rocking chair. Go for coffee. Get that stuff out so that your future looks, feels, and is REALLY a bit lighter and more filled with hope.

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